fmylife.com?

al0389

al0389

LIMA!!!
Driver
How many of you guys on here go to this site?
I love some of the shit posted on here lol...

www.fmylife.com

Like this...


Today, my child says "Mommy. Sometimes my peepee goes up like a stick." I say "Well, honey, that's normal and ok." Then I ask when it does that. And he says "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes..." FML

or

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML
 
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML


LOL fucking homo.
 
"Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML"

this was one of the comments
Hey, at least you know you turn him on A LOT

This really never happens you can take my word
I want to apologize that's just absurd
Mainly you're at fault for the way that you dance and now I JIZZ IN MY PANTS
Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut
Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus
Now I'll go home and change

I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me
And when we're holding hands it's like having sex to me
You say I'm premature, I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times cause it's a necessity
Cause I jizz in my pants



\some of the comments are so funny
 
after I heard about this site from Erick, I've been going on it everyday, multiple times a day and even registered, and leave comments. I'm sugarcakebomb =]
 
Today, I was setting up my laptop's fingerprint scanner. It worked, but in the name of science, I decided to put my penis on it to see if it could recognize it. When I was trying to login via my penis print, my mom walked in. FML.
Click to expand...
:laugh:
 
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Click to expand...

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML
Click to expand...


:bigthumbu
 
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i have the site bookmarked. go on it various times i day. makes me realize how non-fucked up my life is compared to other peoples, lol
 
I'm addicted now

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
Click to expand...
 
I love this site. I was about to go to sleep one night and I stumbled across the site, I got hooked. read through 25 pages.

Some of them are a little ridiculous and not plausible. but w/e still fun to read
 
Today, I found a bell that had been tied into the tassel of my ski hat by my twin sister as part of a longstanding prank war between us. I'm deaf and have apparently been jingling like an elf for over a week. FML

total pwnage
 
Today, my son looked out of the window and said "what's that piece of shit doing on our driveway?" It was the new car we were trying to surprise him with on his 16th birthday. FML
 
Today, I went on Facebook to find that my little brother had messed with my profile. He wrote on my status that I'm a piece of shit, I have no life, and several other nasty and perverted things. Underneath, it said 26 of my friends liked this. I'm new to Facebook. So far I have 26 friends. FML


I regitered too...
I'm al0389.... if you don't already know lol
 
Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML
:laugh::laugh:
 
I dunno if I should give a gay man props for gettin pussy or feel bad for the lady for lookin like a man....

:laugh::laugh:

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML



FAIL!
 
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