Official: Joke of the Day thread!!

You don't even have to be
Catholic to appreciate this one.

Little Anita Smith was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. 'Tell me Anita , who created the universe?'

When little Anita didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted little Anita. The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class. A little later the Nun asked little Anita, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Anita didn't stir from her slumber. Once again Johnny came to her rescue and stuck little Anita in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Anita and the Nun once again said 'Very good,' and Anita fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time little Anita jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted
 
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a resounding noise came
from outside...
The woman, sort of bewildered, jumps up from the bed and yells at the man,
"Shit! That must be my husband!"

So the guy quickly got out of bed, scared and naked.
He jumped out the window like a crazy man, smashed himself on the ground,
went through a thorn bush, and then he stood up and started to run fast to his car.

Just a few minutes later he returns and tells the woman, "I'm your husband, you slut!!!"

So the woman answers: "Oh, yeah!!

And why were you running? You son of a bitch!"
 
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