You forgot to *Look Around* to make sure they weren't around to hear the offensive content...
Funny Joke Thread
- Thread starter Zohan
- Start date
You forgot to *Look Around* to make sure they weren't around to hear the offensive content...
LMAO! :laugh::laugh:
why are you making fun of my nappy hair 0_0
*Don imus voice* nappy headed hoes.
E'sFactoryAE86
Well-Known Member
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come on bro have a lil fun...
and besides hese a professional auto cross driver!!!:laugh::laugh::laugh:
Heard this in spanish, this is really fucked up: NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED
the daughter goes and asks her dad if she can go to the movies.
Dad: "if you wanna go to the movies you have to blow me"
Daughter: "bu, but I'm your daughter. are you serious?"
Dad: "Those are the rules of the house, If you wanna go to the movies your gonna have to blow me"
Daughter: "Fine"
couple minutes later......
Daughter: "Man, that really tasted like shit"
Dad: "Well, your Brother wanted to go play soccer"
the daughter goes and asks her dad if she can go to the movies.
Dad: "if you wanna go to the movies you have to blow me"
Daughter: "bu, but I'm your daughter. are you serious?"
Dad: "Those are the rules of the house, If you wanna go to the movies your gonna have to blow me"
Daughter: "Fine"
couple minutes later......
Daughter: "Man, that really tasted like shit"
Dad: "Well, your Brother wanted to go play soccer"
what did one gay sperm say to the other one? - is it me, or does it smell like shit in here?
A guy gets home late one night after partying and his wife asks, "Where have you been?"
"I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tatoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"A hundred dollar bill on my penis."
"What were you thinking? Why did you get a hundreddollar bill on your penis?"
"Well number one, I like to watch my money grow. Number two, once in a while I like to play with my money. And lastly honey, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks any time you want."
A guy gets home late one night after partying and his wife asks, "Where have you been?"
"I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tatoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"A hundred dollar bill on my penis."
"What were you thinking? Why did you get a hundreddollar bill on your penis?"
"Well number one, I like to watch my money grow. Number two, once in a while I like to play with my money. And lastly honey, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks any time you want."
hahahahahah thats awesome
OK here goes:
There once was a bear and a rabbit and they hated each other. The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a magical talking tree. The tree said: "I will grant you 3 wishes a piece if you will stop fighting!"
So the bear went first. "I wish all the bears in the forest are females." And all the bears in the forest turned into females.
The rabbit said: "I wish I had a helmet." Rabbit gets the helmet and the bear looks at him funny.
The bear wishes: "I wish all the bears in the country are females." The wish was granted.
The rabbit says, "I wish I have a motorcycle." By this point the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he's ever seen. The rabbit could wish for money and have all the motorcycles in the world.
The bear says: "I wish all the bears in the world are female." The wish is granted.
When it's the rabbit's turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his motorcycle, and says: "I wish that bear is gay."
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DefyingGrip19
Spectator
that shit made me lol :laugh:
comments like that get you banned.. no one cares that your black..
When the nurse was bathing a female patient who had been in a coma for many months, she noticed a reaction when placing a sponge between her legs. When the doctor was notified, he called the husband and asked him to report to the hospital immediately. Upon his arrival the doctor explained that the nurse had seen a reaction when her private parts were stimulated. He suggested that the husband should have oral sex with her because it might lead to improvement in her condition. After about 15 minutes the husband came out of her room and announced that she was dead!
"How did that happen?" asked the doctor.
"I think she choked to death," said the husband.
Q: What do you call a fart in the men''s room of a gay bar?
A: A love call.
Got Balls... A man boards an airliner, takes his seat, and is surprised to find a large purple parrot in the seat next to him.
The aircraft takes off and a pretty flight attendant walks down the aisle past the man and his seat mate.
"Hey, bitch, "says the parrot, "bring me a whiskey and soda, and make it snappy!"
The FA looks annoyed, but walks on. A minute later, she walks back up the aisle, and the parrot pipes up again:
"Goddammit, you lazy whore, where's my whiskey? Hurry it up! " Visibly flustered, the FA hurries up the aisle and returns quickly with the parrot's drink.
Impressed with the parrot's technique, the man decides to get some quick service for himself.
"Hey, slut, " says the man, "get me a dry martini. And don't drag your sorry ass - I want it right now! "
The FA turns red with anger and runs to the front of the plane. In a moment she returns with the First Officer and two burly male flight attendants.
The crewmen seize the passenger and the parrot, jerk open the emergency door, and hurl them both out of the airplane at 20, 000 feet.
As the two hurtle out the door, the parrot says to the man, "Ya know, for someone who can't fly, you got a lotta balls."
The aircraft takes off and a pretty flight attendant walks down the aisle past the man and his seat mate.
"Hey, bitch, "says the parrot, "bring me a whiskey and soda, and make it snappy!"
The FA looks annoyed, but walks on. A minute later, she walks back up the aisle, and the parrot pipes up again:
"Goddammit, you lazy whore, where's my whiskey? Hurry it up! " Visibly flustered, the FA hurries up the aisle and returns quickly with the parrot's drink.
Impressed with the parrot's technique, the man decides to get some quick service for himself.
"Hey, slut, " says the man, "get me a dry martini. And don't drag your sorry ass - I want it right now! "
The FA turns red with anger and runs to the front of the plane. In a moment she returns with the First Officer and two burly male flight attendants.
The crewmen seize the passenger and the parrot, jerk open the emergency door, and hurl them both out of the airplane at 20, 000 feet.
As the two hurtle out the door, the parrot says to the man, "Ya know, for someone who can't fly, you got a lotta balls."
0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
There are three guys stuck on a remote island. A few days later, they find a magic genie lamp in the sand. The three huddle up, rub the lamp and the lamps genie appeared.
The genie comes out and tells the guys that he will grant them each, one wish.
The first guy wishes to return home and be reunited with his family, and the genie sent him home.
The second guy wishes to be sent to Hawaii to spend the rest of his life living in Hawaii and vacationing since everyone thinks they are dead anyways... The genie sent him to Hawaii...
The third guy comes and says "Wow... I'm lonely, I wish I had my friends back..."
The genie comes out and tells the guys that he will grant them each, one wish.
The first guy wishes to return home and be reunited with his family, and the genie sent him home.
The second guy wishes to be sent to Hawaii to spend the rest of his life living in Hawaii and vacationing since everyone thinks they are dead anyways... The genie sent him to Hawaii...
The third guy comes and says "Wow... I'm lonely, I wish I had my friends back..."
