OFFICIAL ***Chuck Norris*** THREAD!

There is in fact an “I†in Norris, but there is no “teamâ€â€¦ not even close.

Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
 
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
 
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
 
The greatest cover up of this century is that Hitler didn’t actually commit suicide in his bunker. He was in fact teabagged to death by chuck Norris
 
Mcguyver once tried to give Chuck Norris advice on diffusing a bomb. Chuck Norris then disemboweled Mcguyver using a plastic spoon, a wooden nickel, and the left arm of a midget… yes, a live midget.
 
if you see chuck norris fucking a guy in the ass, its not that he is gay or anything.....he just ran out of women.
 
The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.
 
jlego said:
chuck norris's real name is Carlos Ray Norris?!?!


YOU SIR =
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^^ now your gonna die by way of roundhouse kick. Chuck Norris' real name is Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once had sex on a semi and got semen on it, that semi is now the robot we know as Optimus Prime
 
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